My Wonderings

I know it’s cliché to write about the bittersweetness of your child (especially, the first) leaving the nest but when it’s your own Mother’sHeart, there’s nothing trite about it. I know there have been other milestones before — high school graduation, moving to college, graduating from college — but really, that’s all practice for this big one, the real one, the series finale. She begins the spinoff this week. I think it’ll be a hit. She’s ready; she’s that good. But I hate that I can only watch from afar as she learn’s to live life on life’s terms. Because I know what those terms can be. So I have a few hopes for her.

The first hope is about the community she makes for herself. Maybe it doesn’t even go without saying that she WILL have to make it for HERSELF. For surely, making community well for oneself is one of the most important grown-up skills. I wish friends for her that each represents a specific characteristic she wants to emulate e.g., courage, generosity, compassion, wisdom. I wish friends for her that are consciously on a path of self-awareness and support one another’s personal growth. I wish for her easy acceptance when friends rotate in and out of her life.

My second hope for her is a baseline expectation that “Life is Hard” as M. Scott Peck once wrote. That she won’t be surprised at being surprised and she will be a non-shockable presence among the most shocking. I hope she finds a healthy balance between cynicism and optimism. I hope she views reality through a minimum number of neurotic filters and forgive me for the distortion I have caused.

My third wish for her is a Polonius one, minus his hubris. I hope she finds integrity easier to master than I have. Or maybe, my wish is that she appreciate how truly difficult it is to master integrating one’s outward self with one’s inward reality and that a lot more people think they have integrity than actually do. I hope she realizes that most people won’t assume she’s as vulnerable as she is and therefore, will not be as careful with her feelings as they would if they really knew how deep they cut. I hope she learns that her only defense to this truth is to be non-defensive and transparent. And finally, I hope she has a secret pact with herself that she will never do or be in private differently than she would do or be in public.

Leaving on a jet plane – chantal kreviazuk

Sarah Bennett is an Episcopal priest in the Diocese of Texas. She is an avid evangelist of social media and honest, authentic conversations of the spiritual journey.  Gregg and I have been married 24 yrs with "narry a ripple in the sea of matrimony." We have a daughter, Megan (22) and a son, Gregg (20). I am an Episcopal priest exploring the theological and ecclesiological implications of social networks. Read more from this author