Comments on: Free to Be Me

By: Cami Valenza

Cami Valenza — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:56:37 +0000

I rattling thankful to find this web site on bing, just what I was searching for : D besides saved to my bookmarks .

By: Peggy O.Bennett

Peggy O.Bennett — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 01:56:18 +0000

Sarah, Your writing is so amazing. I can only comment that your way with words thrills my heart. Rosemary and I think you should pen a book. As for questions about your website and such, I’m not too savvy about that.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:07:49 +0000

Wow! WOW! So, I think I have to comment as a parent here as opposed to a grown-up woman who has certainly felt some of the same things as you though from the other side of the coin. Reading about your childhood struggles over waiting for G-d to pick you up when you fell was very sad and painful. And, Trey’s comments really hit home for me. In my Jewish upbringing, I was taught that it’s my responsibility to ask the tough questions and also to seek the answers myself, not to rely on my G-d to provide them. I remember feeling a bit cheated by that, especially during my 8th grade Sunday School year where we studied other religions and visited several different churches, and I heard in several of them how you just have to ask G-d or Jesus for help or forgiveness, and it’s yours! Why did the Christians have it so easy? Why did we Jews make it so tough on ourselves? That’s a 14-year-old brain at work! As I’ve gotten older, studied more, lived life with people of many, many religious backgrounds, I’ve realized that to be human is to experience pain, happiness, depression, unrest . . . all of it (well, at least most of it) comes to all of us at one time or another, in varying degrees, and we can choose to deal with it or curl up into a ball and wait for intervention, either from a divine source or a parent or a friend or a doctor or a substance. Yes, sometimes the bad stuff is more than we can handle or something funky is going on with our chemistry – thank goodness for professionals and pharmaceuticals in those situations! – but I truly believe that, most of the time, we have the power within ourselves to figure things out. That’s G-d to me. That ability, that inner strength, to rely on ourselves to be the best human we can be, on more days than not (we all slip up from time to time), and to put whatever gifts we brought with us out into the world. And, that’s the religion I try to teach to my children – that *they* have the power to live whatever life they want, and that *they*, ultimately, bear responsibility for the choices they make along the way. I can guide them, point them in what I consider to be the right direction, but the path they choose is *their* path. Hopefully, they’ll choose a path that brings them more happiness than sadness, more fulfillment than frustration, more elation than depression, more love than hate.

By: Julia (Mom) Shoup

Julia (Mom) Shoup — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 01:56:32 +0000

Oh my gosh, Sarah, it’s working! I am so tired but just have to say how much I loved these responses.

By: Gregg

Gregg — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:10:03 +0000

Thanks for the insightful and kind words to Sarah, Trey. I totally agree that we beat ourselves up far too much because of our superego’s early programming on what is “right” or what is a “good” or “successful” person. I imagine we all struggle in giving ourselves a break a lot more than we realize – after all, we want to “be all that we can be” and when we’re not we let ourselves down. I propose a new day for us all to observe: Give Yourself A Break Day! (wasn’t that a McDonalds commercial? Was Ronald McDonald visionary?)

By: Trey

Trey — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:50:32 +0000

Hi Sarah,

Interesting endevour. Bill Moyer’s Journal (my favorite liberal talk show) had a trio of theologians from Union College on last Friday. Normally this would cause me to hit the delete button, but I didn’t. Turned out to be a very relevant (read non-traditional) religious conversation with one thread being “post Christian” society – point being that religions like all things evolve or die. If the tone of that discussion were the tone of mainstream religiousity, hell, I might even go to church. Perhaps social media like your blog will be a vehicle for that evolution??

My gut reaction to your post: The first thing that strikes me is you seem to have beaten yourself up for many years as a result of childhood brainwashing. Do religions do this to their children because they know the symbolism and mythology won’t be internalized as fact once people reach the age of critical thinking? I remember at 10 years old thinking “this stuff sounds like flying reindeer to me”. Consequently I can’t embrace the “corporate theology” on offer at every steet corner. Luckily there are many ways to integrate the spiritual into one’s life and live a moral, guilt-free, happy life.

Anyway, give yourself a break. There is no metaphysical answer. Stuff happens. Turns out family and friends are the actual proxy for “God” when it comes to a helping hand.

OK, end of my secular humanist ranting. Good luck with the blog. You’re forever one of my favorite people.

Cheers,
Trey

ps. I can’t spell – sorry in advance.

By: sarahgbennett

sarahgbennett — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 21:10:42 +0000

Wow, that’s the kind of response that makes you sit up and take notice!
In light of experience/living since … do I have a different understanding? Yes. My little girl brain heard a very, very literal promise. One that would completely contradict all the laws of nature and and god knows how many other laws! But even though my worldview grew and my cognitive abilities developed, my heart’s longing didn’t change much at all. I still want to be lifted up, held warmly, tears wiped dry, mecuricromed and bandaged and my cheek kissed. These are such tangible acts and create such intimate connectedness and empathy. Obviously, God can’t (or won’t) be so tangible and physically present. But, Catherine, that’s what my heart desires. My grown-up understanding? the metaphorical promise? is less awe-some in many ways. I think it means that I don’t get to be as helpless and needy as a child. I think it means I have to be responsible for doing my part to get myself up. I think God’s role might be in the love of other people who help me through. Maybe it is Gregg’s extraordinary patience, or my sisters’ knack of making me laugh my head off, or watching your bravery and courage when you fell so profoundly in that car wreck. Then, I am awe-struck at how much I might have missed if God had come to my rescue too quickly. I might have missed that it is much, much more awe-some when God works through the ordinary, every day encounters I have with folk like you.

By: Catherine Cobb

Catherine Cobb — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 19:46:44 +0000

I loved reading this blog, Sarah. I feel like I understand a big piece of you and your writing is truly honest and heartfelt. I love your acceptance and feeling of freedom to be yourself and I think others will benefit from hearing your thoughts and stories.

This is what I’d like to know: In light of what you have experienced and lived since you heard the priest’s blessing as a child until now (when you are that priest, incidentally), do you have a different understanding of that message? What does it mean that God picks us up when we fall? And how do you understand the times when we are stuck on the ground for a while (Help, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!)? I love your stories, and I’d also love to know how and what you are learning from them.

Keep it up, can’t wait for more.
-Catherine

By: Warren Hicks

Warren Hicks — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 12:41:45 +0000

Sarah,

You’ve dared to break open a few eggs and add the honest ingredients for a great omelette here. This is good stuff. I was reminded of the prayer of self dedication as I read it. That bit about ’so align our wills that we may be wholly thine and utterly dedicated’ springs to mind. We are called into partnership.

Your imagery of getting up from a ski fall is an apt one. There’s no way that anyone can pick anybody up from a ski fall if they don’t participate.

I see that you based the reflection on something from Richard Rohr–my favorite. His series on Paul is subtitled “Life as Participation”. When we dare to get up, as you so clearly write, we participate. Not simply in our own lives, but in the very life of God which seeks expression in each of us.

Yesterday’s text from 2 Corinthians rings in my ears, “my grace is sufficient for you.” That’s a good thing! Because it’s clear that you understand that your grace isn’t and neither is mine!

Good stuff Maynard! Like Eric, I’m wanting more.

–Warren

By: Glena

Glena — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 03:18:59 +0000

real nice