What started out as a big, but manageable job — repaint the porch floor — snowballed into a multi-week, all-consuming series of home repairs. All thanks to Dad. He’s the one who gave me the genetic makeup with a tendency toward bouts of the dumps and “tunnel vision.” Sometimes, tunnel vision helps me get out of the dumps. That is, when the tunnel I’m visioning is leading away from my own head and whatever is getting me down. It’s a modus operandi commonly referred to as “the zone.” When I’m in “the zone” all the necessary pistons in my brain are firing in rapid and appropriate sequence (if that’s what pistons do) and I can accomplish significant tasks. Difficult papers and sermons get written, programs are envisioned and developed, furniture is refinished or reupholstered, and gourmet meals are cooked. Unfortunately, anything not connected with the task at hand is tuned out. That’s the part of the syndrome that’s not a good thing. It leads to other things and/or people being neglected. Like this blog. So I thought I’d get back in the swing of blogging by taking a break from my Bob Villa/Martha Stewart Tunnel and share some pictures of my work.
This big project all started as a gesture to help Gregg out with one of “his” projects. He said the porch floor had to be painted before the wet, cold months ahead. I thought I’d lend a hand by getting it started and take a break from worrying about my lack of income-producing work. Plus, I wanted to pick out the color if we decided to make a change. Plus, I liked peeling the flaking paint off with my fingers. Something about the destructiveness of pulling off a long strip of latex is deeply satisfying. I like to remove fingernail polish that way too. Maybe it’s about power or about being in control. I couldn’t wait to plug in the belt sander and watch the ugly, cracked and alligatored paint disappear. The first day was spent cleaning the floor with TSP. That stuff makes me happy. It dissolves everything from gecko scat to bubble gum. It will also remove epidermis so it is wise to wear chemical gloves. Several days of immensely satisfying sanding followed. Finally, it was time for the paint. Applying it was as easy as mopping the kitchen floor. I wasn’t that crazy about the color, though. I had chosen a caramel brown to trim the boring ivory of the siding. In the shade it was difficult to tell the two colors apart. But I knew I needed to see it how it looked with the whole floor, fully saturated with the color, against the wall. Three coats later, I still wasn’t convinced that the caramel was enough contrast.
The third coat was needed because I let two labrador retrievers (for a total of forty claws) reclaim their high throne of the neighborhood too soon. Next time, I won’t be such a sucker for their forlorn expressions. Every morning and every evening, Sadie and Lucy keep watch from this post over the comings and goings of Jester Estates. The first month we lived here, Sadie vaulted through the posts, sticking her landing with the athleticism of an Olympic gymnast. She has since decided that queens should not attempt to fly from second story balconies and that her subjects would have to be satisfied with her enthusiastic barking instead. Although the queens were quite content with their new, smooth, clean, and very weather-protected throne, I was underwhelmed. I needed a bigger payoff.
Characteristic of the way this house was not maintained by the previous owners, the porch swing was an eye-sore. They had attempted to cover-up and stop the mildew growing on the swing with a sloppy coat of primer. It didn’t work. And although painting furniture was beyond the scope of my plan, I knew that a fresh coat of accent paint would give me the wow factor I felt I had earned. My goal was to match the existing forest green of the shutters because they did not need to be repainted. And I didn’t want to add any unnecessary home work to my extremely long list. Days later, I could no longer convince myself that this color matched the shutters at all. I hung the swing anyway; deciding that it would be far enough away from the shutters to avoid clashing. But as I stared to analyze whether I was right about the clash saving distance I realized that I LOVED this new color. It was tranquil and peaceful and calming. I figured that I might as well paint over the existing shutters with a color that made me this happy.
Of course, I couldn’t very well paint only the shutters when the window needed to be trimmed out with the new caramel color of the floor. And, all this fresh paint made the annoying overspray on the aluminum window frame from the previous owner’s substandard work stand out all the more glaring. And, I couldn’t very well leave trimless the two sets of french doors (each with attaching screen doors) that are on either side of the shuttered window. At this juncture, I became traumatized by door hinges. I still can’t even talk about it. Suffice it to say, not only were the hinges previously PAINTED OVER but all the screws were stripped and the bolts were rusted solidly stuck. If you’re thinking that I could have chosen to paint these doors and frames while they were attached then you’re not sufficiently imagining how badly they needed thorough repair and cleaning. If I had gone that route, I’m sure it would have ruined the entire aesthetic.
For example, the brass thresholds had been completely covered with paint. Both inside and outside. If hell freezes over and I ever move again, I don’t want the next owner to think it was me who didn’t know any better. Almost every fixture and hardware in this house, from the light switches to the electrical outlets had been painted! Grrrr! I know I keep going on and on about this but apparently bad paint jobs are a pet peeve of mine. The thing about bad paint jobs is that they haunt you on a daily basis, or at least on those occasions you try to clean the house. Anyway, so many, many days were spent working on these problem spots and obsessing all the while on the importance of taking good care of one’s home that I realized that I was majoring in the minors and neglecting other areas that were more critical than cosmetic surgery. The only way I could assuage my guilt over wasting time on such minutia as boiling hook and eyes to remove decades of crud was to paint something that really mattered. That was a matter of life or death.
This was post #50. It broke off in my hand during the floor painting phase. It could have killed me. But there was too much work left to be done. I had come too far and too long to slop paint over the 49 posts that were cracked and alligatored and vulnerable to the destructive side of water. If you’ve not had the opportunity to sand carved wooden posts let me recommend the dreamy Dremel. It can sand off, grind off, polish off, cut off almost any imaginable problem. After these past few weeks, I now enter a Zen-like state just holding the Dremel in my hand. When I come across one more thing that needs repair in this house, I just laugh. Because there’s not much that can intimidate me as long as I have my two dogs and a Dremel. Except maybe Gregg, who made an innocent (?) remark the other day about how much easier the under-remodeled kitchen would be to bear if the tile grout was five different shades of dirt.
In my last post I introduced my experience of feeling disconnected to the church. I have received many responses from others who have had similar struggles. Many of these comments came from lay persons. What I am hearing in these comments is that the feeling of alienation from Mother Church is not a condition unique to the ordained. I hope those of you, lay or ordained, church or unchurched, who have a story of disconnection or alienation will share it with me and others on this blog. I welcome you as a guest writer. Please send me an email letting me know of your interest. If you would like be published anonymously, that is fine with me. Sometimes, especially in the church, it is wise to be discreet. I only hope one would make anonymity an exception rather than the rule. After all, ‘we’re only as sick as our secrets.’ As for me, I am going to continue to share my personal experiences of alienation from my own perspective; one that I have found some understanding of it through the “setting apart” that occurs with ordination.
As I stated in “Houston, We Have A Problem,” I believe that the status quo of traditional communication does not enable deep or consistent connections. The irony, of course, is that the extraordinary way that the Episcopal Church, with her liturgies and sacraments, had sustained my connection to God, was one of the main reasons I accepted the call to ordained ministry. When my family and I left home for seminary, we became enveloped in a new but temporary community — that of the student body. But forces were in play that would inevitably alter my connectedness to a local community of faith.
Seminarians typically feel alienated from their home parishes and dioceses because they are geographically estranged for the three years they are attending divinity school. They often experience theological estrangement because they are being exposed to a level of critical thinking that shatters previously held worldviews. Most have had to sever the financial security of former careers. And as anyone who has left behind a former professional role to return to school as a student knows, all too well, one easily loses a sense of one’s own competence and “sense of adulthood.”
My diocese recognized parts of this pattern and attempted to alleviate the problem by developing programs and policies to stay connected and supportive to their “ordinands.” None of them worked. For example, we were assigned to one of the three bishops so we could have a point of contact with a “chief pastor” of the diocese. Even though I was lucky enough to be assigned to the warmest, friendliest bishop I have ever known, the late Leo Alard, I only saw him on an informal, personal basis a few times. At some point, the Commission on Ministry (a group of people who charged to evaluate and then recommend to the bishop whether a person should continue to the next stage of the ordination process) decided they needed to stay more closely connected to the candidates. So the commission assigned one of its members to be a “special buddy” to every student. There were lots of reasons this connection was ineffective. One, most didn’t take the time to develop authentic trusting relationships with their ‘protege.’ Second, the foundation of the relationship was based on evaluation and, ultimately, judgment. It was a power relationship that did not endear the seminarian to be forth-coming with much.
At another point, the Standing Committee (a totally separate group of people from the Commission on Ministry, but also charged with evaluating and making judgment on ordination) decided that they too needed to be more connected to each individual “in their care.” I was told of my new “friend” via a form letter. Needless to say, this didn’t alleviate any sense of disconnection from my standpoint as a seminarian. In fact, by this point, I started to wonder if it was better for me to feel disconnected to ‘Mother‘ and stay as far away from her dangerously clueless ways. So I became determined to stick out this time of free-falling alone, under the radar of base camp.
Finally, graduation arrived and soon to follow, the day of ordination. I was looking forward to reconnecting with my faith family of origin. I imagined a return to the hearth, reuniting to the mutuality of former relations, to the community where I could trust the connections to be strong, safe and supportive. Little did I know, that the evaluation process was not over by any stretch of the imagination. Thus the power differential with representatives of the diocese would continue to create uneasy connections. And my connections with my former faith family — well there’s no such thing as going home.
I’ve become a social media evangelist. Like any good evangelist, I’m passionate about the message. I testify every where I go — to everyone I meet — about the life changing power of new media. Many don’t take my message very seriously. They don’t understand that it will change the way we communicate. Some do ‘get it’ but are invested in keeping the status quo of old media methods. Some don’t understand why we need to change the way we communicate. They don’t see anything broken. They don’t see any problem that needs to be fixed.
So I’m going to explain my own problem with the status quo. “Old” media doesn’t enable easy, strong connections. Ever since I became “officially” connected to the diocese of Texas via my ordination (and prior to that, the process leading up to it,) I have experienced a profoundly alienated condition of being disconnected to “the Church.” In a way that is difficult for me to fully understand, much less to articulate, once I became a ‘professional religious’ person, the locus of “the Church” shifted from the parish level to the diocesan and national levels. As a clergy of the parish I had become an ‘other’ of my local faith community; it wasn’t a location where I could let my hair down, put my feet on the coffee table, share my most difficult struggles and receive support and encouragement from peers.
In this context I am defining “peers” as those people who have no psychological need to project their faith struggles on me because I am not fulfilling the role of the priest for them (little transference). I am in no way implying different levels of faith development. This is strictly defined in relation to my ‘role’ as a priest. So, peers are those who connect to me primarily as “Sarah,” the person behind the collar. These are the people who don’t hesitate telling an irreverent story in my presence because they don’t “see” a priest. These are the people who don’t delight in telling an irreverent story in my presence just to see the reaction of a priest.
Peers in my faith community are able to listen to my doubts about prayer or the resurrection or the presence of God and hear the voice of a fellow believer and not lose confidence in a spiritual authority. Peers in my faith community are able to listen to my difficulty to like, much less love, certain people in my parish, and hear the voice of a fellow human and not feel betrayed by a pastoral authority. The compelling need for clergy to find a peer faith community has led to the popularity of clergy support groups.
Paradoxically, those who are sufficiently detached from one’s role as a priest that they are capable of providing this supportive connection, are often people with whom it is very difficult to connect. Most clergy don’t live or work in close proximity to one another. And working in the church breeds an institutionalism that becomes all-consuming and challenging for clergy to turn outward, outside the parish where one would have the greatest opportunity to find the connection of their peers. In other words, as important as clergy support is to the spiritual health of the minister, developing and maintaining those relationships is difficult. It takes a lot of effort — of a lot of communication.
Once-a-month clericus gatherings (clergy within a region of the diocese) are not enough. For many, these gatherings are so “forced” and “unnatural” that they feel dread, not comfort at attending. The establishment of mutual trust and bonding that is required for effectively supportive groupings are beyond the current system’s ability. Bi-annual clergy conferences are not enough. There are too many competing agendas during these meetings anyway to set aside time for quality fellowship.
I’ve experienced several powerful support groups where there was mutual trust and bonding. One of the first was as a pilgrim on Cursillo, a unique and intense spiritual 3-day retreat. Other experiences include staffing Cursillo, Happening and Kairos. These weekends are carefully designed to create these bonds. I’ve known this level of community in Clinical Pastoral Education groups as an intern and as a resident and through leading youth mission trips to the Appalachia with Mountain T.O.P. One of strongest experiences I had with support groups was during my 30-day stint at Hazeldon Treatment Center. The common denominator among all these experiences is an environment that deliberately (manipulatively?) forces such stress and pressure on the participants that they are forced to drop their natural defenses and cling to one another regardless of unnatural groupings. It’s a cheater’s method of group dynamics. This is NOT the kind of environment I am desiring. For one thing, I am advocating for connections that take the edge off stress, not add to it. Secondly, these easy-bake groups don’t live long outside the environment. Unless, there is a natural affinity that coincides in the group assignment.
To summarize so far:
- The problem with the status quo of the way we communicate is that it doesn’t enable easy, strong connections.
- I am one clergy person who feels disconnected from the Church.
- Church “work” makes it difficult to connect outside the parish life.
- Half-hearted attempts to enable support groups have been lame and ineffective.
- Manipulating stress environment produces quick but short-term bonds that do not last.
The advent of social media technology provides an opportunity to enable these connections. Groups are now able to form easily, along affinity lines. The Church at the diocesan and national level should facilitate these connections because that is part of the job. Just as the parish priest has a pastoral responsibility to create a community that supports a parishioner’s spiritual growth, so does the bishop and presiding bishop have a pastoral responsibility toward the clergy.
As easy as group-forming has become, I believe that the process should be initiated at the diocesan and national level because so many leaders in the church are unaware of the possibilities that now exist. These applications are so new that there is a learning curve for non-techies that without a resource might thwart the motivation to adopt new methods. And finally, the very institutional processes that make maintaining the status quo so sticky require strong leadership to become ‘unstuck.’
Chris Brogan, co-author of Trust Agents and one of few “true” social media gurus, recently spoke to New Media Atlanta. He shared the following video online for our viewing pleasure:
Some of the things I find most significant in this talk are:
- The large screen showing people’s Twitter thoughts during his speech demonstrates how much he values listening to other’s opinions even during his Keynote.
- Many people “think” they’re listening, but how many bother to reach out and engage the conversations online?
- I love the concept of the social phone is ringing and his challenge “Will you answer it?”
I just finished reading his book, Trust Agents, and I think it’s vital reading for everyone interested in influencing people, whether it is as a business person, church, church leader or Joe the Plumber with an opinion.
Take a look and tell me what you think.
Blog Wordle
A friend of mine is a small business owner; she designs and creates jewelry, mostly spiritual. It is more than just a “job” that produces income, it is her vocation. She is an artist and her art/work reflects her spiritual life. She asked me recently if she should start a blog. She is very busy and doesn’t have time for another “hobby” or a burdensome commitment that doesn’t have substantial personal or economic benefit. And she already writes about faith and art so she doesn’t need to blog for the purpose of a spiritual discipline. So, how shall I answer her? First, I would say she needs to spend time listening online to see what others are saying about the art of religious jewelry. Are there any good examples of jewelry artists who are finding blogs as a means toward profit? I suggest she go to http://technorati.com/ the “mother lode” of blog directories.
First, she should check out her own name and company and see if anyone is talking about her. If so, I’d say she has the only reason she needs right there to begin blogging. If people are talking about you, you want to be in that conversation! She should also search for her products and her competitors. Then, she needs to search keywords for her industry (”jewelry,” “artist,” “religious” no quotes) and see if there are other business owners/artist blogging about that niche. She will find an extensive list to search through since Technorati currently searches through 22 million sites and over a billion links. But she can narrow her search by only sorting those with “a lot of authority.” High authority (like a “grade” given by Technorati) means the site is very popular. I didn’t find anything when I searched using these three tags: jewelry artist religious and clicked it to narrow the search to “with a lot of authority” (opportunity, Nancy!) So I took off “religious” and searched “with any authority.” I found three appealing blogs right off the bat, at the very top of the list. They weren’t high on the list because of their authority rank; they were listed on top because these three writers had recently published posts. Tip: fresh content is uber important!
Let’s check them out and see what we think: First up is Make Me, a blog at blog.simonewalsh.com. Immediately, I feel attracted to Simone and her weblog because her latest post is filled with bright colorful pictures of the flowerbed in her front yard and I usually like people who garden. Then I am surprised to see she’s from Australia and I think “Holy Dooley! What’s that sheila from down under doing trying to make a quid right here in my living room? Good onya!” Scanning just a bit more I find out I also like her jewelry, just not as much as my friend’s! Next, I check out http://www.roseofsharonjewelry.com/blog/ because the title of her blog is fantastic. But upon clicking, I’m almost knocked over by how “lavender” everything is and I imagine her to be old and passe and smell of moth balls. I’m not encouraged when I see she’s talking about broken ankles and sprained body parts in her first post. but I have to smile when I read further on and she tells herself to give up the roller derby. That’s my kind of sense of humor so I decide to scroll down a bit more. But, oh my(!) … her jewelry, like her lavender and lacey web design is too fussy for my taste. I take my exit and go to my third site The Magpie’s Treasure and once again, I find myself drawn to the artist/business owner because of her most recent post. The artist, Jodi, tells us she’s listening to an audio book of Sue Monk Kidd on her IPod while she works in her studio and I heart Sue Monk Kidd! Jodi and I have a lot in common, I imagine. Her previous post has a picture of her sketches and she describes a bit of her creative process.
This is very fascinating but I’ve run out of time and I can’t even check out her jewelry. But I see she has lots of other social media accounts so I assume she must be very friendly and amenable. I click on her RSS feed button because I know I won’t remember to go back and check out her blog so I’ll let her RSS bring her blog to my Google Reader every time she updates! Great; good session I’ve imagined having with my friend. But before she leaves the Technorati site, I’d also she suggest she search my blog: sarahgbennett.com/MyWonderings and click that little heart icon that says favorite it! if for no other reason than out of pity that my blog has such low authority. Favoriting will help increase my authority at Technorati. And, btw, I have substantially helped out the authority status of Simone, Sharon and Jodi because I have given them unreciprocated ”inbound links” in this blog — that’s very valuable currency in the blogosphere! I would so be your BFF if you ever gave me some link love.
Nancy Denmark 14k Ring with Diamond
If I were F2F (that’s ‘face-to-face, Mom!) with my artist friend, we’d probably take a latte break right now because I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy in friendship fever. Then I’d suggest she continue to look for possible competitors friends by doing the same type of searches at http://blogsearch.google.com/ and http://search.twitter.com. While I was surfing to see other “must search” sites, I came across this article in the Search Engine Journal and I started feeling guilty that I have neglected my own blog so much! She should probably check out this list, too; I know I am. Anyway, back to Nancy, that’s my artist friend. Nancy and I met too many years ago to politely admit (I think we staffed a Happening together) but then lost touch when I lost touch with … well, anyway. We recently reconnected on Facebook and have developed a very nice, significant relationship.
If I were in the market for a piece of a religious jewelry, prior to this reconnection, I probably would have headed over to one of the malls in Austin and grabbed something from James Avery. I wouldn’t have even thought of Nancy because I didn’t have her in my brain’s RAM. But now, because of our social networking, I wouldn’t consider going to another jeweler. Because unlike generic jewelry, religious jewelry is bought to be an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace. To have the opportunity to add an even richer level of meaning to that investment by actually knowing the artist and knowing what she was thinking while she was creating it — well, that would make the piece even more precious than I could have imagined. And that, at the end of the day, is why I think Nancy should have a blog, for the personal connection; to connect to people online like she has me.
In today’s market, one needs to be online. One needs to have a personal brand and a business brand online and needs to engage in online conversations. I think the extraordinary personal nature that is now so popular with social media sites is due, in part, to society’s knee-jerk reaction to the business ethos of the previous decades. As the Mom and Pop Shops got run out of business, the commercial world became so “professional” and starched. It became distant, impersonal and corporate. Any concern over market aloofness was exacerbated as more and more of the marketplace disappeared into cyberspace. You couldn’t even talk to a person on the phone; it was all automated! But recently, the internet has moved into a second stage of life, called “2.0,” and smart technology tools are enabling easy and comfortable conversations (many in real-time) for those of us who aren’t that technologically smart. And that is changing expectations. We expect to see the human face of the marketplace because we can! Many, many people are slow to see the tectonic shift that is occurring. And that is to Nancy’s advantage. Because the early adopter gets the worm. Fortunately, there are some who have already adopted this new media way; so there are many people out there on whom to “eavesdrop.” We need to lurk around these sites. We need to hear what’s being said, and read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest what others are doing so right.
Oh, by the way, don’t tell my mother how rude I was not to introduce Nancy to you properly at the very beginning of our conversation. Everyone, this is Nancy. This is her Facebook Page. Let me get Nancy to tell us about her work and (I copied it off her Facebook Page info):
I am an artist with a primary interest in creating jewelry to help the wearer communicate the love of God. I received a BFA with a specialization in Jewelry and Metalsmithing, from the University of Houston in 1976. I started my own business in 1980 and have since been designing and crafting jewelry as a full time vocation. I mainly work in precious metals, sterling, and 14K gold and often incorporate gemstones. I am a one person business. “I am the company and the company is me!”
In the late 80’s, after hearing a stewardship sermon, I felt called to communicate the love of God through my jewelry work. I understood it to be my responsibility, as a good steward of my artistic gifts, to create a body of work for the Glory of God. Through the years, I have continued to add to that original body of work, which is now over 60 designs strong. My ministry is sharing the love and glory of God through my design work, offering the wearer a “love story” to visibly wear and verbally share.
I also make many other things besides fine jewelry. I create jewelry beads, wall and hand crosses with polymer clay. One of my newer creative expressions is knitting scarves and belts (not yet on the website) (sarah’s edit: because it got uploaded a few days ago!). I consider my fine jewelry making my 40 hour work week and the rest is fun art therapy to keep my creative juices flowing and fresh. All my extra avenues of creative expression seem to be an endless play and experimentation with color and texture.
Don’t you just love her? I knew you would. And I’m so glad you got to know her today! Come back anytime and meet some other friends of mine. Oh, and by the way, see that RSS feed button up at the top right? Click it and I’ll bring my blog to your reader in case you forget to check in for a while. If you don’t know what a reader is, I’ll tell you in another post. In the meantime, see that email form right below the RSS feed? Fill out your email and I’ll send you my blog updates right to your inbox! Love chatting with you all and I really enjoyed the latte!
facebook icon that religious guy
Recently, a facebook friend sent me a funny blog post, Needing Some Closure, about a contest for the “holiest” email closing. Rather than ending with a secular “Sincerely,” they use In Him or Because of His Grace or one novel notation used In His Grip. The post cracked me up; in part because I get annoyed by these public service announcements. But another part of me laughed because, back when I was pretty green-under-the-collar, I really used to worry about how I should sign my notes! I didn’t want to come across as overly pious but I also didn’t want to offend the overly pious by not being very pious. And then there was the whole plus sign problem. Sometimes I saw it in front of people’s names, sometimes, after. I wonder how many times I did it wrong before it was pointed out to me that Bishops put the + in front of their names and the rest of us clergy add our addition at the end. Anyway, to make a very short story long, all this is to lead up to my point (and I’m sure you’ve all followed my logical train of thought that led me here): there should be rules for the religious on Facebook. I couldn’t find a list on Google, so I decided to create my own. Feel free to add, amend or delete as you see fit.
- Script Your Scripture: Don’t post random, stand-alone scripture verses as status updates. If you have a personal response to a scripture verse, then by all means, share it. If its true what they say that “Content is King” in social media, then “Content in Context is King of Kings,” brothers and sisters!
- Shade Your Sonshine: Gratitude is great; but too much of it, all the time, just comes across as fake and disingenuous. Some of you might want to pepper your updates with a “Golly gee, I’m sure struggling to find an attitude of gratitude after I was mugged and abducted by aliens.”
- Lay Off the Lament: Don’t go to the other extreme and be a Whiny Baby either. I love Eeyore, but I don’t want him as my facebook friend.
- Police Your Piece: If you’re going to represent the Supreme Representer, you might want to consider being political correct. I know a lot of people think they are Truth-Telling when they bash the concept of p.c., but really, its a matter of being sensitive to others’ feelings, not ignoring reality.
- Mute the Mic: Speaking of politics; there’s a lot of it on Facebook. Sometimes I’d like my very political friends to get off their soapboxes just long enough to tell me something else that’s going on in their life. The same can be said for my religious friends. Every once in a while, post something sordidly secular.
- Fav Your Flock: If you’re clergy, don’t post that you don’t have time for Facebook. Because that’s the same as saying you don’t have time for the people in your church that are on Facebook. Besides, you sound like you’re way more important than we know you to be.
- Halt the Haughty: You don’t have to spend a lot of time on Facebook and no one expects you to read everyone’s updates. But its nice, its polite, and it just may be the exercise in humility that you need, to comment every so often on someone else’s posts. Listening can be your friend.
- Cheer Your Child: Do LOL. I’m not saying you have to LMAO (or LYAO) or other extreme bursts of humor. But many religious folk tend to take themselves way too seriously. Lighten up! Enjoy a bit of silly and playful and Will Ferrell.
- Face Your Facts: Use a real picture of yourself. Fill out a full profile, favorite books, movies, and all. Share yourself! That’s the point.
- Hug the Humanity: Just be yourself. Accept your human condition. And don’t worry so much what others will think of you. It’s not like there’s anyone’s passing judgment and creating a set of rules!
What have I missed? What annoys you about the really religious on Facebook? Have you got any good examples of over-the-top status updates? No names, please, let’s protect the innocent (those in their faith community!).
On the Wings of He Who Soars Above and Takes Me Along For the Ride,
Sarah(plus)
p.s. Please don’t assume that my general criticism of others is, in any way, shape, or form, an invitation to criticize my own, delightful and charming status updates.
- The Conversation Prism
An extraordinary thing is happening on the internet: real conversations are taking place where people are listening to other people’s ideas, learning about different perspectives, and sharing their unique knowledge. It seems to me that those of us in the Church could benefit greatly from being a part of this online conversation. But for many of us, especially those of us in our 40s and beyond, feel intimidated and stressed by all this new media stuff. It’s feels as if “cyberspace” has become the proverbial “outer space.” Where users adopt wacky personas and speak in otherwordly language. Recently I came across this beautiful graphic by Brian Solis and loved the way it helped me begin to make sense of the social media tools de jour and the ways in which they are enabling these important conversations to take place.
- Social Bookmarks: You know how you used to receive tons of newspaper and magazine clippings from your mother of interesting tidbits she stumbled across in her print media readings? You know how you get tons of “You gotta see this” type emails with stupid animal antics or sappy memories of the golden days? Well, these tools do something similar. Only much faster, more cheaply and reaching a much wider audience. Also, they are “permissive” connections, meaning you only read them if you choose to go see what online info Aunt Matilda has recently marked as an interesting tidbit. These aspects of fast, cheap, large, and permissive are true among all these categories.
- Crowdsourced Content: You know how much of what people send you as “You Gotta See This” is stupid or offensive or not worth spending your time clicking and uploading? You know how you sometimes feel like you’ve got “information overload”? Well, people use these tools and filter through the junk, by voting on whether or not the content is worthy and you can choose to only look at those things that a LOT of people, and that people that like the things you like, deem valuable.
- Blogs/Conversations: You know how you see something cool on the internet and you wonder what other people think about it? You know how you think about leaving a comment but you know you’ll never go back to see if anyone else left a comment or if anyone responded to your comment? These tools will let you know when someone has joined your online conversation. You don’t have to keep going back to the site and checking it yourself.
- Google Alerts
- Blogpulse
- Radian6 (paid)
- BuzzLogic (paid)
- Ask.com
- Google Blog Search
- Technorati
- Blog Communities: You know how you can get caught up on all the scoop just waiting in the carpool line? You know how you can find out what people are talking about just by dropping by the Sunday morning coffee hour? You know the water cooler? These tools enable you to stay in touch with the latest happenings.
- Micromedia: You know how sometimes you want to say to your more long-winded friends, “Just give me the short version”? Well, that’s what these tools do.
- Specific to Twitter: You know how everybody’s talking about Twitter this and Twitter that and you just can’t see the point of all the twittertwatter (pronounce this to rhyme with chitterchatter, please, thank you!)? These tools help you make sense of all the noise.
- Social Networks: You know how hard it is to keep up with all your friends from high school, college, your home town, your previous jobs? These tools keep you in the social loop!
- Niche Networks: You know how some people think everyone else is just as interested as they are in the TV series “Lost”? Well, tell them to take all their trivial nonsense over to another niche of the world, a group devoted to the secret connections of Lost, or the legal profession, or the birthers.
- Location: You know when you’re out-of-town and you want to know where the locals hang out or what is the best route around town? Yep.
- Live Video and Audio: You know how you’d love to watch T.V. or listen to a radio program with comments from the ‘Peanut Gallery’? Apparently, there really is a Peanut Gallery, and they use these tools.
- Customer Service Networks: You know how sometimes you don’t trust the “official” reviews or recommendations because you think there might be some hidden agenda? And how you just want somebody real and normal like you (well, anyway) to give you the skinny? Meet fellow consumers through these tools, then.
- Video: You know how you’ve always wanted to be on T.V. or the radio? No? Well, if you did, you could, for free!
- Video Aggregation: You know how you’re working on a report and you get totally stumped on one bullet point? Well, that’s where I am with this one.
- Pictures: You know how you know you could find just one decent picture of you from the reunion weekend if only you could look through the photographs of every picture taken at the event? Or you know how you always forget to bring your camera? Someone could always have your back with these tools.
- Documents: You know how you think everyone should read your dissertation or how you need a copy, immediately, of the white paper you wrote for the conference but forgot to bring with you? There’s a heavenly library up there in the clouds just waiting to be resourced!
Stay tuned, right here, for examples of how some faith communities (or other types) are using these tools to great benefit both within their communities and reaching out to others. And if you think you might forget to come back and check my updates, try using the RSS feed. And if you “dig” this article, DiggIT!
My seminary professor, Charlie Cook, always told us that the real Vestry Meeting took place afterward in the parking lot. It didn’t take me long to realize, once again, the truth and wisdom of another Charlie-ism. After the meeting is adjourned, people gather and say what they really think about the agenda. Thoughts are shared that were not expressed earlier because of any number of reasons. Maybe they didn’t want to be the only one to appear contrary. Or maybe they were confused and didn’t want to appear clueless. Sometimes, it might be because the person didn’t feel that their opinion would be heard in the meeting anyway or that they could influence the discussion with the previously gathered group.
Whatever the motivation or motivations behind this dynamic, the point is that many times the most critical conversations take place beyond the “official” setting of the conference room. What Charlie was not able to anticipate in his caution was that the parking lot would eventually extend into the virtual realm of the World Wide Web. But the power of social media and web 2.0 has proven to be a game changer. And it would be foolish and shortsighted for the Church to ignore this phenomena.
“Social media refers to activities, practices, and behaviors among communities of people who gather online to share information, knowledge and opinions using conversational media” (Safko & Brake). Web 2.0 refers to recent technologies developed on the web that enable average computer users to interact with one another easily and cheaply. One year ago, I only used my computer as a word processor and to occasionally research a topic to settle an argument with my husband 
. Today, I connect with long lost friends on Facebook, I meet fellow like-minded Anglicans all over the world on Twitter and I publish my thoughts and experiences, however un-extraordinary or un-clever they may be, on this blog to be read by anyone that has an internet connection. Today, I use my computer to engage others.
It is the ability to engage others, parishioners and seekers, that are meeting on the virtual church parking lot that makes learning about and participating in social media worth every Church leader’s time and energy. No one could argue that one of the primary purposes of the Church is to communicate; we are in the business of spreading the Word. Today, we can proclaim beyond the spheres of the pulpit, tracts, newsletters and even e-mail. From the first days of the Church’s existence, she organized in order to bear one another’s burdens, comfort and care for those in the community, and strive to solve social ills. Today, we can collaborate beyond geographical, financial, and organizational barriers of the past. We can exercise the ministry of teaching and counsel to more people and in more dynamic ways. And as anyone who has seen a LOLcats picture can testify, we can have fun doing it.
Businesses are scrambling to learn how to utilize these technologies to benefit their profit margins and there are a gazillion examples of successful social media campaigns. There are also a number of cases that demonstrate how social media can be harmful and destructive to the reputations of both products and people . Social media is the proverbial two-edged sword. But like fire, water, and the Holy Spirit, it is unwise to ignore it just because you don’t understand how to embrace it.
In The Social Media Bible, the authors provide a series of self-assessment questions for the business manager. I have adapted these questions for clergy:
Social Media Inside Your Parish:
- Would committees and guilds in your parish be more effective if they could communicate more quickly and precisely with one another?
- Would committees and guilds in your parish be more productive if they were able to work in a more collaborative environment?
- Could parish community life be improved by increasing the fun quotient?
- Could discipleship training and development be improved?
- Are your parishioners fully engaged in the mission of your Church?
Social Media Directed Outside Your Parish:
- Do you have a strong relationship with your neighborhood/town community?
- Do you know public names, preferences, and needs as they relate to your evangelistic and outreach goals?
- Do you know public feelings about your parish, the Episcopal Church or Christianity in general?
- Have you ever asked the public to tell you of opportunities through which you could provide hospitality or service to the town?
- Would the town welcome an opportunity to help you grow?
- Are there activities in your parish that would provide amusement or entertainment for the public?
- Do you currently do anything to educate the public about the programs offered in your parish?
- Would the public respond positively to an opportunity to learn more about the Episcopal Church?
- If asked, would the average parishioner strong recommend your parish to a friend?
- Do many of your parishioners strongly recommend your parish?
Angst of Ember Season
It’s that time again! Today, Holy Cross Day, begins another week of Ember Days. I’m aware of this because several of my networked friends are in the ordination process and posting laments (good liturgical word) about the need to write their Bishops this week. Just reading their posts made my stomach start overproducing acid and my Catholic-guilt and worry start to rear its ugly head. That last effect is particularly annoying to me because I have never been a Roman Catholic. But I am so good at this Catholic rite that I’m pretty sure Peter’s going to count me as one of his own when I meet him at the Pearly Gates.
For my non-liturgical or low-church or unchurched friends, let me explain the issue. According to ancient tradition, there are four times a year (Ember Days) during which an aspirant/postulant/candidate/ordinand (one who is in the ordination process) is to write a letter to their Bishop. Here’s a link to a pretty decent explanation of the tradition on Wikipedia. Even though I had been an Episcopalian all my life and worked in the Episcopal Church since I was in my early 20s, I had never heard of this tradition before I became an aspirant/postulant/etc.. So that gives you a little hint about just how important this tradition is to the average pew-sitter. They’re on the level of Rogation Days (I bet most readers have to google that too,) merely step-children of the Liturgical Calendar. But we’ve all met those phariseedual types (I just coined that word, so please give me all attribution rights) that are quite legalistic and rigid about, well, everything. My diocese leaned toward that Phariseedic side.
Some of my friends came from more libertarian diocese where the Bishop didn’t care about getting Ember Day letters. But as my luck tends to run, my diocese was one of those that saw this tradition as an opportunity for an ordination fitness litmus test. I was told that my ember letters better be on the desk of my bishop before the last day of the week or there would be dire, dire consequences. It was a thinly veiled threat that one could be booted out of the process for failure to comply and that any so-called ‘emergency’ such as accidental decapitation, house fire, alien abduction would not constitute sufficient cause for posting your letter late. It would only prove that you did not adequately prepare for the unexpected and therefore you obviously couldn’t be counted on to provide leadership in an institution (the Church) where preparedness is kind of a big deal (that whole 2nd coming, apocalypse part).
It wasn’t that I was a procrastinator or unaware of the liturgical calendar. I’m rarely late for anything. But I never knew “what” I was suppose to write. We were told to let the Bishop know how you were doing, how you were coming along, in the whole ” priestly formation” thing. But, really, you couldn’t do that, not honestly. I mean, we’re talking a serious Catch 22 here! If you said, “I am really coming along, feeling myself more and more formed into a priest every day” one might interpret you as too confident, arrogant, and not introspective. But if you said, “I am coming to realize just how unworthy and unprepared I am to ever step foot in a pulpit and proclaim the gospel” one might interpret you as too insecure, neurotic, and pitiful. You wouldn’t want to admit that the seminary experiencing is all-consuming and is proving to be quite a stressor on your family life. But it almost always is. The Bishop knows the Church will be even harder stress on your family. You wouldn’t want to admit that the higher-level of critical theological thinking is wrecking havoc with your faith and you aren’t sure what, if anything, you believe anymore. But it almost always does. The Bishop knows that the Church will be even more destructive to your idealism and child-like innocence.
So, I would fret over these stupid letters ad-nauseum. I would have paid good money if someone would just write the darn thing for me. That’s why, this morning, upon reading my friends’ ember posts, I had this brilliant, genius of an idea to ’sell’ automated, computer-generated Ember Day Letters that could be tailored to individuals through the client providing a few custom words (nouns, adjectives, and an adverb or two.) Like a Mad Lib. The fancy name is I would utilize a phrasal template word game program. I do have one small problem. That is, I never could figure out how to write an ember day letter so I have no idea what to put in my template. I need your help; consider it your christian duty. If you will provide a sentence or two in the comments below this post, I will share a percentage of my Mad LibEmbers royalties with you. Thank you for your participation!
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